WORK HARD. HAVE FUN. MAKE HISTORY.

Even before 2020 sent us down a rabbit hole of non-stop Door Dashing, Zooming, and Instacarting, I had developed a years-long relationship with my Amazon account that would make even the most seasoned delivery driver scratch her head in utter confusion.

You see, an Amazon order history is a snapshot of a time capsule riding shotgun in that 80’s DeLorean called life. 

It’s the oversized Hufflepuff scarf that smelled of burnt plastic ordered for an ex-boyfriend. 

It’s the "más leche" onesie for your niece that you haven’t been able to meet yet. 

It’s the shipping boxes you order every November to build care packages for our deployed military.

A cache of memories forever feeding the algorithm of recommended products you never knew you needed, courtesy of one Mr. Jeffrey Preston Bezos. 

I too have a history.  One that found me in 2014 as the new Activities Specialist at Sixthman LLC. Duties included, but were not limited to, purchasing stuff on the internet.  At the time, I made the choice to use my personal Amazon account for orders, never considering the repercussions it would have on my future online shopping experience. 

“Oh, you enjoyed that giant inflatable pizza?  Why not try this floating garden gnome.  It’s a 2-pack!”

“Your recently purchased male mannequin torso would go great with our DIY unpainted baby doll kit. Made from lifelike polysilipoxinfoam!”

“Shot cups.”

What were these items to be used for, you ask? The usual. Belly-flop competitions, bull riding contests, sand art class, cupcake decorating, boozical squares, and so, so, SO much more.

So, here it is.  A glimpse at some of the more interesting items in my Sixthman ordering history.  Six years of purchases, most appearing to have been made by a drunken toddler.  All of them are small pieces to big moments that truly made life rock.  

Kyle Griffith, Operations Leader & Tour Manager

Number of Events: 47

Days at Sea: 204